What It Takes
by iamselena
Summary: Mutt asks the question, "What does it take to be Dad?" which was answered by one of the most important people in Indiana Jones' life.


**AN:** This is simply a crazy idea, one that was pushed further into action when I noticed a couple of things throughout the four Indiana Jones movies. Oh, and the person talking to Mutt is… you have to guess! He's supposed to be dead, but he is important to this story so… yeah.

I know, I know. Me don't own Indiana Jones and the characters. Darn it. They all belong to Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

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**_What It Takes_**

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Mutt sat in front of me, looking at me with eager eyes. His father and mother were out on a date, so they left me to baby-sit young Henry Jones the Third. Young, definitely, if you compare our age gaps. I know Mutt can be a… handful sometimes, but babysitting a nineteen-year-old? That's unheard of! However, it's a chance to get to know the boy a little bit more, so I'm not exactly complaining.

We were chatting about the current adventure they had with Oxley (I was supposed to be dead, but don't pay attention to the minor details), when Mutt unexpectedly popped a question: "What does it take to be like Dad?"

Like his father?

Oh, heavens.

The wheels in my head started to turn, and I listed a few things on a notepad after Mutt left to shine the love of his life (his motorcycle).

**Things You Need to Know Before Following Indiana's Footsteps:**

**Note:** Mutt, if you're really serious about following your father's footsteps, or if you only want to know what it takes to be like him, these are the factors you need to consider. And make sure you consider them **carefully**.

**1. The Fedora**

Okay. The first thing you need is a hat. You need to have a hat that never falls off. For example, even if you swim in a river, it still sticks to your hair like glue. Or even if you're beating the brains out of some other guy (or if **you** are getting beat to a pulp), it never falls off. Also, the hat must have a magnetic pull. If it was swept off by the wind, make sure it has some kind of magnet that attracts the bloody hat to you. It's your father's security blanket. He'd die without it. So if you're gonna get a hat like Junior, I'll personally glue it to your hair, Mutt. But the fact is, your hair will get messed up. And you don't want that, do you?

**2. Bullwhip**

It is very important to have a bullwhip. It saves you from falling off pits and swings you from one building to another like Spiderman or Batman. Honestly, of all the things. Why not a gun or something cooler? It looks like a snake. But don't tell Junior that, okay, Mutt? He'll have my head after making that remark.

**3. An ex-lover who will be your future wife after you dump her twice (but she still forgives you)**

Aww. The power of love. But, hell, Mutt, if you ever dump a woman twice like your father did, I'm gonna take a bullwhip and whip your butt! Marion is truly far too good for Indy. Heaven knows why she has stuck through him after all these years. Must be that four-lettered word I kept hearing about (gag). And besides, Marion would definitely tan your hide if she found out that you'd dump a girl twice. It's from the experience. And I guarantee it is not pleasant.

**4. Dirt-decorated shirt with muddy pants and matching boots**

Every time your father goes out, he always wear a shirt already decorated by dirt and pants smeared with grease. Didn't I teach him proper hygiene? But I guess that's not a problem with you always fixing motorcycles. Just beware of your mother (she'll not exactly be thrilled washing those particular pieces of clothing).

**5. Fears**

You are not made to be an archeologist if you do not have any phobias. That is a requirement. Your father, for example, is afraid of snakes. Any. I'm sure you personally witnessed the fact he couldn't even move when he's face to face with a snake harmless enough. And me? Yeah, I admit I'm deathly afraid of rodents. Ugh, I hate rats.

**6. An extreme amount of luck**

Just in case you live with the moment, pray that you have the luck the kind your father has. He always managed to escape tight spots with crazy ideas that seemed too far-fetched, but at the same time, they seem to work. But don't tell him I told you that. He'd have that damn smug smile on his face for weeks.

**7. A name that originated from a dog**

Apparently, Junior doesn't like his name. Humph. Henry Jones Junior. It's beautiful. But he's one stubborn son of a gun, so he chose to name himself after his dog. A dog. Goodness. You are really your father's son, Mutt. Just look at the name. Mutt. Indiana and Mutt. A couple of dogs. It's hilarious (I like my name. I really do).

**8. A classroom full of admiring young ladies**

As much as I hate to admit this, your father is a heartthrob. Just ask your mom. She had to deal with him for many years. But unfortunately for your father, those girls are obsessed. I heard from his secretary that they would gather in his office after just to talk to him, even though there wasn't anything to talk about, really. But I guess he got his looks from me. It runs in the genes (shrugs modestly).

**9. Legions of women**

As I said before, your father has his way with… the ladies. Blonde actresses who has a pair of lungs that doesn't blow when she screams, beautiful, traitorous Nazi women (ahem) and lots more… just don't tell this to your mother or else she'll break your father's neck when she grabbed hold of this little information. And you want him alive, right?

**10. A gift of attracting trouble**

If I'd give a noun to describe your father, I guess it'll be a magnet. As I said before, he has a knack of attracting girls of all ages, his bloody hat, snakes and… trouble. Honestly, even when he was a kid, he always got into trouble as a scout back then. Ah, Junior and trouble. Such a crazy combination, but they seem to go together. The perfect combination.

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After I showed Mutt the list, he couldn't stop laughing. That's when Marion and Junior entered the scene, back from their date.

"Hey, Dad," Junior greeted me with a smile. He ruffled Mutt's hair, who immediately frowned and combed it back. Father and son love right there. Marion greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, hugged Mutt and went directly to the kitchen to make some iced tea. "What are you guys doing?" Junior plopped on the couch beside Mutt, who was holding the list.

I tried to grab the paper, but to my dismay, Junior managed to acquire it from Mutt, who protested, with no trouble. After a few seconds, I started to sweat. It was a feeling. Junior was stagnant, his eyes reading from left to right, left to right. Scary. Maybe I should go, leave and visit later.

Yeah. Visit. Later.

Junior slowly put the paper down, his eyes never leaving mine. "Dad…" That simple word sent chills down my spine. "… what the hell are you teaching Mutt? And what's this thing with my hat? You have a problem with that? And if Marion sees this…"

Definitely. Visit. Later.

"Uh, those are pieces of information in which he could use as a reference in the future if ever he decided to go into the family business," I tried weakly, inching from my seat. "Mutt…"

Mutt shook his head vehemently. "I have nothing to do with this," he replied with a grin. Great. The little guy's a traitor. Sure, leave grandpa with dad. Swell. But the trouble got doubled when:

"What's this?" The paper disappeared from Junior's fingers.

Hell.

Marion narrowed her eyes. "Indy? What blonde actresses and Nazi women?"

"This isn't what it looks like, honey," Junior gulped. I nearly laughed, if I just didn't know what Marion could do with a frying pan. My son's so whipped. "They were women from the past…"

"And that makes it even better?"

My daughter-in-law quickly pulled out a frying pan from nowhere and…

"Marion! NO!"

"MOM! It's just a joke!"

"Honey! You've got it all wrong!"

…well, we're still alive, so it was still a happy ending.

Really.

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**PS.** And so the craziness ends. The frying pan thing? It was inspired by Marion holding the frying pan at Raider's of the Lost Ark, and I just thought, 'lovely'. It suits her. And the list? Those are the things I noticed about the Jones' men (mostly Indy) have. Super cool! It seems a bit exaggerated, but I do hope it emitted a few laughs from you guys! Thanks for reading!

Oh, and yeah. The supposed-to-be dead guy is Henry Jones Senior! Yay him!


End file.
